Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Spotted on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Seen just now on Instagram:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Live now on X:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Just shared via Threads:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Funny think carefully quotes

New funny think carefully quotes 👇

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

3 months ago

carefully, communication, gift, going, humor, i, irony, manage, say, still, thing, think, think carefully, truly, wrong, wrong thing

All funny think carefully quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

43 shares on X this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

88 shares on Threads this month:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Just shared via Slack:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Broadcasted on X:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Just shared via Telegram:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny think carefully quotes

New funny think carefully quotes 👇

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

All funny think carefully quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨