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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Just landed via X:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Spotted on YouTube:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Trending via Instagram:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Just shared via TikTok:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Funny thinnest quotes

New funny thinnest quotes 👇

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, day, feel, humor, image, observation, shopping, thinnest, through, time, walk, Walmart, want

Someone from 🇬🇳 has recently shared this quote.

87 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny thinnest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put the mess in domestic.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

90 shares on Threads this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

38 shares on X this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Breaking via Reddit:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Trending via Pinterest:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on Telegram:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Live now on X:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Going viral on X:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny thinnest quotes

New funny thinnest quotes 👇

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

All funny thinnest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨