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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Making waves on Reddit:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Trending via WeChat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Going viral on WeChat:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Going bananas on Threads:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Just landed via X:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Spotted on X:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Home » Funny Tomat Quotes

Funny tomat quotes

New funny tomat quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
Looks like this person is taking the term "growing in a relationship" quite literally! 🍅🌱 Who knew heartbreak could be so nourishing for the garden? Talk about turning emotional baggage into literal fruits of labor! 🤣 #RelationshipGoals #LoveGrowsInMysteriousWays

backyard, beginnings, buried, fertilize, humor, new, new beginnings, past, ready, relationship, tomat

All funny tomat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,732

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Trending via Threads:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Making waves on Slack:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Just landed via X:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Trending via Twitch:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Just landed via Pinterest:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

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