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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on WeChat:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Just landed via Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Just landed via WeChat:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Trending via Instagram:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Seen just now on Threads:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Trending via Threads:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Going viral on Facebook:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Shared recently on Messenger:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Reported on Telegram:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

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