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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Making waves on Facebook:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Going bananas on Telegram:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Going viral on Slack:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just shared via Threads:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Funny UFO quotes

Funny UFO quotes add a humorous twist to the mysteries of extraterrestrial life. 🛸😄 From witty remarks about alien encounters to playful jabs at close encounters of the quirky kind, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of UFO phenomena. Enjoy a laugh and explore the fun side of the unknown! 😂👽

New funny UFO quotes 👇

All funny UFO quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Slack this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

27 shares on Threads this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

15 shares on X this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Trending via X:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Just landed via Slack:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Just landed via Discord:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Trending via Threads:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

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