Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Shared recently on Reddit:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Just shared via Threads:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Just landed via Twitch:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Funny UFO quotes

Funny UFO quotes add a humorous twist to the mysteries of extraterrestrial life. 🛸😄 From witty remarks about alien encounters to playful jabs at close encounters of the quirky kind, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of UFO phenomena. Enjoy a laugh and explore the fun side of the unknown! 😂👽

New funny UFO quotes 👇

All funny UFO quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

50 shares on X this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Breaking via Discord:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Going viral on Discord:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Live now on Pinterest:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Spotted on Threads:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Trending via X:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

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