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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Live now on Twitch:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Spotted on WeChat:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Making waves on Facebook:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Funny valuable quotes

New funny valuable quotes 👇

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Breaking via Pinterest:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Breaking via Reddit:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Trending via YouTube:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

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