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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Going viral on Discord:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Trending via Pinterest:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just landed via Twitch:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Trending via Facebook:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Funny venom quotes

Funny venom quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wicked charm 🕷️✨ Whether you’re a fan of the mischievous antihero or just love clever one-liners that sting with humor 🐍😂, these quotes will have you laughing out loud while embracing your inner chaos. Ready to unleash some venomous laughs? Let’s dive into the funniest bites that pack a punch! 💥😎

New funny venom quotes 👇

All funny venom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

96 shares on Instagram this month:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

97 shares on X this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Live now on WhatsApp:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Going viral on WeChat:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Just shared via Facebook:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Trending via Messenger:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Live now on YouTube:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

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