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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Breaking via Messenger:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Freshly posted on Threads:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Just shared via WeChat:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Funny verse quotes

Funny verse quotes bring laughter and wit together in perfect harmony 🎉✨ Whether you need a quick giggle or a clever twist on everyday moments, these playful lines will brighten your day 😄📜 Get ready to smile, share, and spread the joy—because who says wisdom can’t be hilarious? 😂💬

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

38 shares on X this month:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Seen just now on Discord:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Trending via TikTok:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

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