Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Trending via Discord:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Trending via X:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Just landed via WeChat:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Funny witness quotes

Funny witness quotes 😂 bring a hilarious twist to courtroom tales and unexpected moments in justice ⚖️. Whether it’s awkward answers, surprising confessions, or just pure courtroom comedy, these gems keep us laughing through the drama 🎭. Ready to dive into some side-splitting stories that prove truth really is stranger (and funnier) than fiction? Let’s get the chuckles rolling! 😆📢

New funny witness quotes 👇

All funny witness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Threads this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

100 shares on X this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Breaking via X:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Just shared via WeChat:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Trending via YouTube:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Shared recently on X:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Just shared via Threads:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

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