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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

36 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Trending via Pinterest:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Live now on Threads:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Making waves on TikTok:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Home » Funny Workplace Policy Quotes

Funny workplace policy quotes

New funny workplace policy quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Commentary:
"Of course! Watching movies counts as professional development, right? 🎥💼 After all, who wouldn't want to further their 'cinematic expertise' in the name of work-life balance? 🤓 #MovieBuffBenefits"

For even more funny workplace policy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny workplace policy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

36 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Just shared via X:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Going viral on TikTok:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Breaking via Reddit:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

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