Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.