Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Making waves on Threads:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Making waves on Discord:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Trending via Snapchat:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Spotted on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's right, I'm just following doctor's orders as I enjoy my leisurely 20-year spa day 😂🛁⏳

couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

0

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

0

3 months ago

angel, conclusion, guardian, guardian angel, humor, me, possessive, protection
If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

0

2 months ago

8K, activity, bowl, bring, fun, fun activity, gathering, humor, invitation, over, place, super, Super Bowl, TV, wants, watch
I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, imagination, imagine, lottery, ready, reality, thrill, wake, wake up, work
Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

0

2 months ago

adult, bed, being, humor, life, morning, mumbling, reluctant, slide, struggle, stupid
Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

0

3 months ago

apology, behavior, distraction, happening, humor, i, multiple, multitasking, noise, noises, same, sorry, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

41 shares on Twitch this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Going bananas on Telegram:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Making waves on Discord:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Trending via Pinterest:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Just landed via Facebook:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Going bananas on X:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨