Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Just shared via Facebook:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"When your detective career collides with your drama queen side! 🎭🔍 #PlotTwistExpert"

false, false information, giving, humor, i, information, joke, know, leak, prank, sarcasm, secrecy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

0

2 months ago

barking, conversation, dog, enjoy, humor, job, luggage, maybe, misunderstanding, officer
People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, bribe, child, children, chore, chores, doing, here, humor, just, myself, own, people, raising, self-motivation, treat, treats, trying
Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

0

2 months ago

gift, humor, i, item, love, me, oh, reaction, surprise, unwrap
I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

0

2 months ago

buffalo, buffalo chicken, chicken, diet, dieting, food, food humor, healthy, healthy option, humor, i, irony, let, love, me, men, option, quesadilla
Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

0

2 months ago

activity, choice, choose, distraction, fun, fun activity, GIF-war, humor, over, procrastination, responsibility, sometimes
I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

0

2 months ago

bed, cozy, humans, i, lay, life, love, meant, relationship, romance, snuggle, think, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Just landed via Twitch:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Going viral on Slack:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Trending via WeChat:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Making waves on X:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨