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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Going bananas on Twitch:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

1 month ago

Funny plea for patience and luck in a humorous text image.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my shopping cart wishlist praying 😂🛒✨

desire, frustration, God, humor, i, let, life, me, once, plea, please, prayer, want, wish

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Spotted on TikTok:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Trending via YouTube:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Just shared via Discord:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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