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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Live now on Telegram:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Just landed via Telegram:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Spotted on TikTok:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

1 month ago

Humorous text about a moviegoer reading Wikipedia while snacking on popcorn.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This guy's really popping off, getting kernels of knowledge while munching! 🍿😂

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia

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32 shares on Telegram this month:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

29 shares on X this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Shared recently on TikTok:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Live now on Threads:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Making waves on WeChat:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Live now on Twitch:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Live now on Telegram:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

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Activity Log ✨

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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