Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Trending via Instagram:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Trending via Slack:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Trending via Telegram:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Just landed via X:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Just shared via Reddit:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

1 month ago

Humorous text about a moviegoer reading Wikipedia while snacking on popcorn.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This guy's really popping off, getting kernels of knowledge while munching! 🍿😂

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

67 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Live now on Reddit:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Seen just now on Slack:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Trending via Facebook:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Making waves on Twitch:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨