Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Just shared via Twitch:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Going viral on WeChat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Going viral on Messenger:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Making waves on Messenger:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Shared recently on Threads:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he's really mastered the art of moderate moderation! 🚬😂🌿

daily, daily habit, fine, guy, habit, humor, i, moderation, smoking, think, weed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

2 months ago

AI, imagination, imagine, money, spending, spent, technology, train, transportation
Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

2 months ago

awesome, brain, brains, humor, i, intelligence, sarcasm, self-deprecation, wish, wit
I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

4 months ago

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish
I think my type is a nice person.

2 months ago

dating, humor, i, nice, nice person, person, personality, think, type
I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

2 months ago

arrival, baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, just, looking, man, men, Nativity, phone, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

2 months ago

arguing, argument, being, being right, communication, explaining, explanation, humor, just, loud, louder, right, sarcasm, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

42 shares on X this month:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

63 shares on Slack this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

97 shares on Slack this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Freshly posted on X:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Trending via Instagram:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

I think my type is a nice person.

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨