Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

50 shades of single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Just landed via YouTube:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Going viral on Instagram:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on Reddit:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Trending via TikTok:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Live now on Pinterest:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he's really mastered the art of moderate moderation! 🚬😂🌿

daily, daily habit, fine, guy, habit, humor, i, moderation, smoking, think, weed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

2 months ago

food, humor, media, photography, pics, sandwich, social, social media, unsolicited
These aliens are taking forever.

2 months ago

alien, aliens, forever, humor, patience, time, wait
I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

2 months ago

always, chips, clumsy, example, finish, food, happiness, humor, i, lap, positivity, sad, snacks, upsides
Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

2 months ago

always, dumb, freaky, humor, i, incognito, incognito mode, internet, looking, me, mode, obvious, privacy, question, questions, record, search, shit, why
I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

2 months ago

chair, climbing, die, drink, drinking, dying, Fanta, hill, humor, laziness, orange, relaxation, sounds, terrible
I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

2 months ago

always, am, confirm, confirmation, door, doors, dumb, humor, i, pull, push, self-deprecation, three, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on X this month:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Live now on X:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

These aliens are taking forever.

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨