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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Trending via Discord:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Just shared via Twitch:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Just landed via YouTube:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending via Discord:

This sex could have been an email.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Breaking via Reddit:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about gyms being empty due to weight loss drugs.

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Commentary:
Looks like gym equipment is finally getting a break while the drug bottles are breaking a sweat! 🏋️‍♂️💊😆

drug, drugs, empty, empty gym, fitness, gym, humor, loss, weight, weight loss

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44 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

25 shares on Facebook this month:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

16 shares on Threads this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

39 shares on Threads this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Going viral on YouTube:

The peace of not knowing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Just shared via Reddit:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You wish you had this many chins.

Just landed via Threads:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

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Activity Log ✨

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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