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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Broadcasted on X:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Just landed via WeChat:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Trending via Pinterest:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Going viral on Twitch:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Breaking via Reddit:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote highlighting Twitter's chaotic mix of emotions and confusion, humorous and playful tone.

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Commentary:
Trying to solve Twitter math while feeling both cute and existential 🤔😂 #MathIsHard 📉✨

depressed, half, horny, humor, joke, know, math, media, social, social media, Twitter

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92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

28 shares on X this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Shared recently on Slack:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Just landed via Telegram:

Being awake is the worst.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

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Activity Log ✨

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨