Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Just landed via Facebook:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Just landed via Twitch:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

23 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess the hot chocolate won the battle against 'snowkini' season! 🍫❄️👙

bikini, cold, cold weather, fashion, girl, girls, humor, photoshoot, seen, single, snow, tired, weather, winter, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

0

2 months ago

communication, coworker, ever, got, humor, i, joke, likes, media, once, post, said, social, social media, thing
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

0

3 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

0

2 months ago

Andropov, day, driver, humor, i, joke, name, Pikup, Russian, Uber
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

0

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

0

2 months ago

dental, humor, intelligence, joke, smart, thing, tooth, wisdom
I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

0

3 months ago

always, day, ew, finger, hesitation, humor, i, index, index finger, poke, procrastination, seize, seize the day, sometimes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is weird and then you die.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Spotted on Twitch:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on Slack:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨