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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Spotted on Telegram:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Trending via YouTube:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Just landed via Threads:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Just shared via X:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Live now on X:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Acting like a medieval knight might just be the only logical next step in adulting! 🏰⚔️😂

adult, crush, dating, embarrassing, embarrassment, forging, having, hobby, humor, learn, literally, maturity, old, self-improvement, sword, sword forging, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

0

2 months ago

battery, charged, excitement, exciting, guess, humor, i, nightlife, phone, sleeping, technology
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

0

2 months ago

avoid, comedy, decision, doing, humor, i, lot, procrastination, self-reflection, thinking, want
Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

0

2 months ago

across, back, bra, casual, coming, coming back, honesty, hour, humor, i, relaxation, room, sorry, spontaneity, throw
Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst
If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding
Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

0

2 months ago

anything, beautiful, beautiful thing, feel, miss, nothing, sleep, thing, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on X this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

47 shares on Slack this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Seen just now on Slack:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Just landed via WeChat:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨