Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Breaking via Twitch:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Spotted on Reddit:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Just landed via Discord:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Breaking via X:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Going viral on TikTok:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Acting like a medieval knight might just be the only logical next step in adulting! 🏰⚔️😂

adult, crush, dating, embarrassing, embarrassment, forging, having, hobby, humor, learn, literally, maturity, old, self-improvement, sword, sword forging, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

1

2 months ago

better, choices, decisions, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, memoir, mistakes, regret, self-awareness
I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

0

2 months ago

calm, conflict, face, frustration, head, humor, i, irony, punch, thoughts, times
They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

0

2 months ago

broken, broken door, concept, culture, door, funny concept, humor, i, idea, marketing, marketing idea, merchandise, movie, movie merchandise, pool, pool raft, pop, pop culture, raft, should, sold, Titanic
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

0

2 months ago

computer, connection, history, i, internet, noise, nostalgia, remember, screaming, should, technology, used, warning
I’m sick of living through history!

0

2 months ago

frustration, history, humor, living, satire, sick, through
A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

0

2 months ago

ago, couple, digital, digital life, escape, humor, internet, irony, life, media, modern, modern life, real, real world, social, social media, technology, today, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

45 shares on Discord this month:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just landed via Messenger:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Just landed via Discord:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Making waves on Instagram:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

I’m sick of living through history!

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨