Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Broadcasted on X:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Going viral on Slack:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Spotted on Slack:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Making waves on Slack:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the effort of maintaining multiple romantic connections across locations.

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Commentary:
"Unless those hoes come with free frequent flyer miles, I'm sticking to local gardening! 😂✈️🌍"

area, area code, calls, code, codes, comedy, dating, different, exhausting, exhaustion, having, humor, phone, phone calls, relationship, romance, sounds, travel

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64 shares on Telegram this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

65 shares on X this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

99 shares on X this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Going bananas on Discord:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Spotted on WeChat:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Just landed via Slack:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Breaking via X:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

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Activity Log ✨

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

They’re making me get out of bed.

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

They’re making me get out of bed.

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

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