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That one British friend thatโ€™s too bloke.

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There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

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If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

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Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

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I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

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Iโ€™m bored, but not read a book for fun bored.

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Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

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I donโ€™t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

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Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

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I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

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He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Commentary:
"Rest in peace, brave tickle investigator. ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ May your quest for gang members' ticklish spots tickle their hearts forever. ๐Ÿ˜‚ #TickleMyFunnyBone"



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