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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Trending via Slack:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Going viral on Discord:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Trending via WeChat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Seen just now on Messenger:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Spotted on Facebook:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Yeah, he's just really dedicated to the cause of *social* media justice! 😂📢 #AllyOrAddicted?"

commentary, equality, feminism, follows, gender, gender equality, gender roles, humor, humor quote, media, roles, satire, social, social commentary, social media, voice, voices, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, being, day, hot, humor, just, reality, rich, self-deprecation
Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

0

2 months ago

court, found, honor, humor, i, joke, laughter, matter, Your Honor
Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

0

2 months ago

alone, another, change, day, expectation, humor, i, life changing, maybe, me, procrastination, room, something, spend, wait
Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

0

2 months ago

apparently, baby, eat, family, humor, laziness, lot, me, means, nephew, new, personality, resemblance, sleep, wants
I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

0

4 months ago

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top
If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

0

2 months ago

am, catch, chances, humor, i, me, mischief, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, smiling, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

95 shares on X this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

51 shares on Twitch this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Going viral on Discord:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Going viral on Pinterest:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Just landed via Threads:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just landed via Threads:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Going viral on YouTube:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨