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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Freshly posted on X:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Just shared via Messenger:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Yeah, he's just really dedicated to the cause of *social* media justice! 😂📢 #AllyOrAddicted?"

commentary, equality, feminism, follows, gender, gender equality, gender roles, humor, humor quote, media, roles, satire, social, social commentary, social media, voice, voices, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

0

2 months ago

creativity, engagement, give, humor, husky, intelligence, interesting, interesting problem, people, problem, smart, smart people, wit
My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

0

2 months ago

activity, chewing, dog, game, humor, i, joke, pet, play
The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, irony, misunderstanding, phrase, rate, success, success rate, take, wrong
Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

activity, Christmas, couple, day, decorating, fun, fun activity, holiday, house, humor, re-decorating, spent, wife
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

0

2 months ago

calmness, communication, ever, house, humor, key, know, lock, locked, problem, problem-solving, solving, talk
Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, confusion, happiness, happy, humor, i, irony, thoughts, understanding, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Slack this month:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Trending via Discord:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Just shared via Twitch:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Going viral on WeChat:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just shared via YouTube:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Trending via Facebook:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨