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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Making waves on Messenger:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

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Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.
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Commentary:
"Helvetica: the only font that rocks harder than my playlist! 🤘🎸🖋️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

52 shares on Slack this month:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Spotted on Reddit:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Going viral on Telegram:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Going viral on Threads:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Spotted on X:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Seen just now on Discord:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

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