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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has shared:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has shared:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Just landed via X:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going bananas on Messenger:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Breaking via WeChat:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Spreading quickly via X:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Live now on WeChat:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

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Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.
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Commentary:
"Looking for a rainy day activity that will have your kids buzzing with excitement? πŸŒ§οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ›οΈ How about leaving them at home with their dad and enjoying a peaceful shopping spree all by yourself! It's a win-win situation – happy kids, happy spouse, and a happy you! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦πŸ’Έ #RainyDayFun #RetailTherapy"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

100 shares on X this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, β€œWe needed to leave five minutes ago.”

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t believe the phrase β€œif they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow β€” not yours.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, β€œIt’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has copied:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has shared:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Discord:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as β€˜being an Amazon driver’.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Trending via Instagram:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Spotted on X:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Seen just now on Discord:

In high school I was voted β€œmost likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

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