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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,997

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Spotted on WeChat:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just shared via Discord:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

1 month ago

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looking for a rainy day activity that will have your kids buzzing with excitement? 🌧️💃🛍️ How about leaving them at home with their dad and enjoying a peaceful shopping spree all by yourself! It's a win-win situation – happy kids, happy spouse, and a happy you! 😂👨‍👧‍👦💸 #RainyDayFun #RetailTherapy"

activity, dad, day, days, energy, fun, fun activity, home, kids, leave, much, rainy, rainy day, shopping, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

1 month ago
calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

5 months ago
active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through
Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

1 month ago
adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn
Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

1 month ago
better, better you than me, communication, complaining, everything, humor, keep, me, normalize, people, perspective, sarcasm, saying
Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

1 month ago
amazing, announcer, competition, deduction, ever, gymnast, humor, i, life, oh, Olympic, point, point deduction, seen, sports, thing
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

5 months ago
behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,642

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Spotted on Slack:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Breaking via Threads:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

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