Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Spotted on X:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Just shared via Facebook:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Spotted on WeChat:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Spotted on Facebook:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Are you the worst-case scenario, or just my latest obsession? Either way, you're living rent-free in my head! 🤔😂🧠"

boy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, humor quote, i, joke, playful, romantic, scenario, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

0

2 months ago

commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward
It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

0

2 months ago

40, after, age, car, event, getting, getting out, humor, mobility, physical, physical event, sports, sports car
I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

0

2 months ago

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending
If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, communication, concerns, hesitate, humor, irony, questions
I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

0

2 months ago

alarm, angry, bed, early, enough, extra, having, humor, i, lay, management, morning, morning routine, procrastination, routine, set, sure, time, time management, wake, wake up
If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, away, finding, follow, hack, having, humor, life, life hack, match, me, missing, show, sock, socks, throw, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Just landed via X:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Trending via Threads:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Making waves on Slack:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Going viral on Messenger:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Going viral on Slack:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨