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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,049

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Spotted on Discord:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Just landed via Facebook:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Just shared via Discord:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Are you the worst-case scenario, or just my latest obsession? Either way, you're living rent-free in my head! 🤔😂🧠"

boy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, humor quote, i, joke, playful, romantic, scenario, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

1 month ago
bed, dutch, Dutch oven, embarrassment, fart, home, humor, humor at home, intimacy, joke, oven, person, prank, type, yourself
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

1 month ago
being, drunk, humor, intoxication, question, right, situation
Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

1 month ago
baby, crying, humor, joke, knows, maybe, parenting, rizz
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

4 months ago
chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler
I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

1 month ago
after, bed, creature, environment, humor, i, kid, kids, living, living creature, okay, parenting, procrastination, saw, spider, survive, tired, too, under
Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

1 month ago
always, back, crush, humor, people, relationships

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Shared recently on Facebook:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

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Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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