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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2416 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,578

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,578

2 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Trending via Telegram:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Trending via TikTok:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Shared recently on X:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Reported on WhatsApp:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

5 months ago

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

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Commentary:
Ah, the versatile hobby of fake smiling – a true masterpiece in the art of social interactions 😬🤐 Nothing like perfecting that "I'm totally listening" expression while mentally drafting your grocery list or plotting your escape route 🏃‍♂️💭 It's all about striking that delicate balance between looking engaged and suppressing the urge to scream internally 😂 #MasterOfDisguise #SocialSurvivalSkills

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2416 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,578

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,578

2 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Reported on TikTok:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Live now on Discord:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Going viral on Threads:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

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