Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Seen just now on Slack:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Just shared via Instagram:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Trending via Discord:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm like a mystery box of brain cells—never know what you're gonna get 🎁🧠😂

am, both, estimate, humor, i, intelligence, me, paradox, self-awareness, smarter, think, underestimate, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

0

4 months ago

cheating, ever, feel, forgive, humor, just, people, relationship, remember, sarcasm, stupid
Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, bitch, conversation, conversations, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, resting, resting bitch face, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

0

2 hours ago

attraction, front, horse, hottest, humor, life, little, modern, modern life, opportunity, tame, thing, unfortunately, us, woman
I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

0

3 weeks ago

aging, am, bathroom, complaint, forty, frustration, going, humor, i, should, sick, time, tired
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

0

2 months ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work
When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

0

1 month ago

communication, conversation, humor, interaction, language, new, social, social interaction, someone, talking, tell, trying, vocabulary, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

12 shares on X this month:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Trending via Instagram:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Spotted on Reddit:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Making waves on Instagram:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Going bananas on Slack:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨