I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.