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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Just shared via Twitch:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Going viral on TikTok:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your future son's first lesson will be in the art of patience! 🚦🤣

apologize, apology, communication, delay, family, future, future son, humor, i, just, mom, relationship, reply, replying, son, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

4 months ago

being, confession, got, humor, identity, just, mess, myself, personality, self
Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

2 months ago

butt, confidence, fun, humor, love, own, positivity, self-love
“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

2 months ago

awkwardness, compliments, dating, high, high school, humor, i, laid, school, self-deprecation, thanks
The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

2 months ago

dental, humor, intelligence, joke, smart, thing, tooth, wisdom
I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

2 months ago

am, escape, experiment, failed, humor, i, lab, sarcasm, science, sentience
I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

2 months ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

60 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Live now on TikTok:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Making waves on Threads:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨