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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Live now on Telegram:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Just landed via Facebook:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Spotted on Messenger:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Live now on YouTube:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Breaking via Messenger:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Trending via Pinterest:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my flirting style is more awkward giggles than smooth moves! 😂😅

awkward, conversation, dating, everything, flirt, giggle, humor, i, interaction, say, shy, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

0

2 months ago

am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe
If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, block, dating, feeling, follow, humor, joke, just, relationship
I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, coworkers, fun, fun activity, hand, hand stamper, home, humor, i, night, own, prank, stamper, think, workplace, workplace humor
My age is news to me every single time I remember.

0

2 months ago

age, every, forgetfulness, humor, i, me, memory, news, remember, self-awareness, single, surprise, time
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

0

2 months ago

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

0

5 months ago

communication, humor, i, inform, leave, making, panty, party, public, relationship, remote-controlled, tired, vibrating, vibrating panty, want, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Going bananas on TikTok:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Spotted on Threads:

Living la vida taco!

Spotted on Telegram:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Making waves on TikTok:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Live now on Reddit:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨