Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"

always, communication, humor, i, keep, say, self-deprecation, something, stupid, talking, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

62 shares on Discord this month:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

11 shares on Threads this month:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

70 shares on Slack this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Breaking via TikTok:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Just shared via Telegram:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Going viral on Slack:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Just landed via Facebook:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Trending via Slack:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Spotted on Facebook:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨