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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Just landed via Instagram:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Shared recently on Threads:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's just my brain working as a fact-powered chainsaw 🧠🔪😂

aggression, fact, facts, grudge, grudges, hold, humor, i, just, memory, remember, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

0

2 months ago

90s, activity, arcade, fix, fun, fun activity, gaming, kombat, me, mortal, Mortal Kombat, nostalgia, playing
What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

0

2 months ago

action, consequence, deserve, done, humor, i, irony, oh, reflection, remember, right
Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, cannabis, hold, humor, i, joke, paranoia, recreational, scared, smoker, smokers, social, social behavior, stereotypes, store, weed
Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

0

4 months ago

age, apocalypse, dark, dark age, downturn, economic, economic downturn, future, humor, recession, sarcasm, slang, worry
Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

0

2 months ago

bed, couch, follow, humor, me, question, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

0

2 months ago

book, events, humor, life, misfortune, nostalgia, remember, series, series of unfortunate events, unfortunate

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

57 shares on Slack this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Just shared via Facebook:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Just landed via Instagram:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Spotted on Threads:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Trending via Facebook:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Breaking via Facebook:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨