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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Just landed via WeChat:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Trending via Pinterest:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Live now on Threads:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Just landed via Threads:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Making waves on TikTok:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Going viral on Reddit:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Playful quote about resisting online shopping urges, with a humorous and relatable vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣💸 We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

65 shares on Threads this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Trending via Discord:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Trending via WeChat:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Just landed via Instagram:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

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