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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Spotted on Reddit:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Just shared via TikTok:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Reported on YouTube:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣💸 We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Just landed via Threads:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Shared recently on Reddit:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Spotted on Messenger:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Shared recently on X:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

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