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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Just shared via YouTube:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Just landed via Instagram:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Shared recently on X:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Trending via Facebook:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Just landed via Slack:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it cake? Or just a crunchy existential crisis? 🍚🎂😆

actually, cake, eaten, feel, food, humor, i, naming, never, rice, rice cake, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

0

2 months ago

allowed, apology, bouncing, coping, frustration, head, humor, leg, restriction, self-deprecating, sorry, wall, walls
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

0

2 months ago

bag, hole, humor, losing, marble, sanity
God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, eat, flakes, food, frosted, Frosted Flakes, God, going, humor, invention, likes, okay, tiger
My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

0

2 months ago

away, chess, eating, every, humor, look away, pieces, strategy, time
My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

0

2 months ago

change, exercise, favorite, fitness, gym, humor, joke, machine, put, snack, snacks, vending, vending machine, where
My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

0

2 months ago

demon, demons, ex, exorcist, humor, joke, relationship, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Trending via Discord:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Just shared via TikTok:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨