Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do a lot of active activities, but little do they know it's just for show… 🚲😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

activity, bike, bike rack, car, drink, else, facade, humor, i, lifestyle, neighbors, rack, something, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, chew, coffee, energy, enough, humor, i, line, need, power, power line
No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

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2 months ago

attention, call, child, distraction, faster, humor, internet, kid, smartphone, technology, watching, YouTube
I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

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2 months ago

20s, actually, breaking, curse, empowerment, generational, generational curse, hate, independence, man, marry, me, self-love, survive
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

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2 months ago

cats, culture, Egyptians, history, humor, internet, still, today, used, walls, worship, writing
Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

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2 months ago

adventure, beef, beef jerky, diet, fish, food, humor, jerky, keto, lifestyle, pirate, rum
Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

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2 months ago

back, bed, day, day start, hours, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, motivation, positive, positive thought, procrastination, routine, short, sleep, start, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

24 shares on X this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Going viral on Reddit:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Spotted on Slack:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Live now on TikTok:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Making waves on Twitch:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨