Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Trending via Messenger:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Going viral on Discord:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just shared via Facebook:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Freshly posted on X:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Just shared via YouTube:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Push-up: 1, Me: 0. Battling gravity one chuckle at a time! 💪😅 #GravityWins"

determination, encouragement, exercise, fitness, hell, humor, hurts, i, just, know, motivation, push-up, think, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself
Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bring, domestic, domestic life, everyday, everyday humor, family, household, humor, life, lovingly, me, nothing, paper, request, said, toilet, toilet paper
I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

0

2 months ago

bag, butter, chocolate, craving, family, food, humor, i, indulgence, M&Ms, peanut, peanut butter, snack, sweets, want
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, customer, customer service, fault, good, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, me, sarcasm, service, skills, things, want, well, why, work, work skills
If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

0

2 months ago

belief, humor, joke, magic, me, money, payment, put, rid, scam, send, someone, spell, think
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

0

1 month ago

am, fire, head, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, never, nonchalant, personality, self-awareness, soul, unfortunately, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Making waves on Reddit:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Going bananas on Discord:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Making waves on YouTube:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Spotted on Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨