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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Making waves on Discord:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Just shared via Twitch:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Finding my Zen through advanced couch potato techniques 🛋️🍕😂

absolutely, anti-social, being, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, never, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, society

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, i, multitasking, need, Netflix, noise, phone, scroll, show, while
Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

2 days ago

blink, blinking, boss, communication, funny gesture, gesture, humor, i, knows, raise, slow, slow blink, want, workplace
Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

2 months ago

3, best, gardening, growing, homegrown, humor, investment, life, money, months, own, saving, saving money, time, time investment, tomato
Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

2 weeks ago

another, area, career, error, error message, found, humor, job, job posting, job search, message, open, please, poet, posting, search, try, warrior, warrior poet
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

2 months ago

care, chew, dental, dental care, dental plan, guess, humor, i, joke, just, mouth, plan, side

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

42 shares on Slack this month:

56 shares on X this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

42 shares on Threads this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

40 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Shared recently on X:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Just landed via Twitch:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Live now on Twitch:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Spotted on Threads:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Just shared via Instagram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Shared recently on Threads:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Spotted on TikTok:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨