Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Just landed via TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Just landed via YouTube:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Just shared via Instagram:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

0
I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the great outdoors: where the sun shines too bright, the rain falls too hard, the wind blows too strong, and the bugs party too loud! 🌤️🌧️💨🦟 Who needs nature's elements when you have a cozy couch indoors, am I right? 😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Just landed via Slack:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Spotted on Telegram:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Spotted on YouTube:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Making waves on Discord:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Just shared via Messenger:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Trending via Messenger:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Freshly posted on X:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴