Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Breaking via Slack:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just landed via Threads:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Going viral on Instagram:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Making waves on X:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Just shared via X:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Just landed via X:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you’re single and supportive but might need to borrow one yourself 😂💁‍♀️❤️

boyfriend, funny response, i, Instagram, love, media, need, posts, reply, replying, response, social, social media, someone, story

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms
Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

0

2 months ago

activity, cake, ever, humor, jump, party, question, surprise
I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

0

2 months ago

am, artificial, artificial intelligence, bot, bots, convinced, half, humor, i, intelligence, least, skepticism, technology
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

0

2 months ago

calendar, count, counting, day, ever, evidence, just, physical, physical evidence, say, someone, time, today, trust, Tuesday
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

0

2 months ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start
I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

0

4 months ago

bro, brush, casual, cat, humor, i, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

61 shares on Threads this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

29 shares on X this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Breaking via X:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Going viral on Discord:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Just shared via YouTube:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨