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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

My middle finger salutes you.

Spotted on X:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Live now on Facebook:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Going viral on Snapchat:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

6 days ago

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Commentary:
Ah yes, my thesis on napping techniques during lectures really changed the world! 😂🎓📚

academic, academic merit, college, education, humor, i, love, merit, paper, people, sarcasm, say, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

3 hours ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

2 months ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

3 months ago

being, condition, diet, dieting, humor, hunger, hungry, i, me
At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

2 months ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

2 months ago

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

33 shares on Slack this month:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Going viral on YouTube:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Trending via TikTok:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Trending via Instagram:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Trending via Slack:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just shared via Threads:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨