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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Just shared via Slack:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Going viral on WeChat:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Spotted on TikTok:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Seen just now on Threads:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That graph sounds like it has more plot twists than a soap opera! 📉😅 #ExAndWhyMystery"

breakup, comedy, dating, ex, graph, humor, i, joke, past, relationships, sarcasm, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, acceptance, humor, inside, just, living, meat, mouth, normal, tentacle
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

0

5 months ago

enough, escape, health, humor, i, identity, mental, mental health, need, new, passport, self-improvement, therapy, travel
If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

0

2 months ago

humor, love, me, partnership, relationship, rivalry, sleeping, wordplay
Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

0

2 months ago

focus, home, humor, inside, introvert, job, quarantine, quitting, staying, staying inside, work, work from home
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

0

5 months ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried
Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

0

2 months ago

3d, 3D printing, apology, aviation, delay, flight, flight delay, fuselage, humor, just, little, maintenance, printing, time, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

23 shares on X this month:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Seen just now on Threads:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Broadcasted on X:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨