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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Just shared via Reddit:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Breaking via Telegram:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Going viral on Twitch:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Going bananas on Instagram:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Trending via Telegram:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Witty quote about relationships, featuring a humorous graph with an ex and why axis.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That graph sounds like it has more plot twists than a soap opera! 📉😅 #ExAndWhyMystery"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Threads this month:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

88 shares on X this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

30 shares on Slack this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Going bananas on X:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Spotted on Discord:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Making waves on TikTok:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Making waves on Telegram:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Going viral on Reddit:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

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