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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Breaking via Messenger:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Making waves on Discord:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Just shared via Discord:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Stirring the pot like a Victorian drama queen! 🥀🥣✨

1893, beloved, cooking, dramatic, duel, heartbreak, historical, i, just, lost, lost love, love, mine, never, soup, while, whispering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

0

2 months ago

cake, checking, client, court, defense, honor, humor, misunderstanding, stab, trial, trying, victim
Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

0

2 months ago

except, funny situation, hide, hide and seek, humor, husband, last, marriage, pants, put, search, searching, seek, situation, where
Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

0

1 month ago

analogy, carrying, daily, daily life, habit, humor, lantern, life, modern, modern habit, phone, room, technology, Victorian, Victorian woman, woman
Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

0

2 months ago

family, food, frustration, give, give in, humor, just, kids, over, parenting, repetition, snack, throw, yelling
I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

0

2 months ago

carrot, cart, chase, chasing, determination, direction, effort, humor, humor in effort, i, lighthearted, mind, motivation, playful, pursuit, same
It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, death, died, disaster, good, humor, irony, lot, movie, only, people, thing, Titanic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Twitch this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

20 shares on X this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

51 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Just shared via Messenger:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Trending via Telegram:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Seen just now on X:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨