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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Trending via Facebook:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Live now on Messenger:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Live now on Reddit:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Stirring the pot like a Victorian drama queen! 🥀🥣✨

1893, beloved, cooking, dramatic, duel, heartbreak, historical, i, just, lost, lost love, love, mine, never, soup, while, whispering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

4 weeks ago
adulting, afford, Christmas, Christmas shopping, even, financial, financial struggle, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, life, money, money problems, own, problems, relatable, season, shopping, struggle
Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

1 month ago
blood, blood ritual, dark, dark humor, full, full moon, humor, moon, obscene, occult, ritual, rituals, under
How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

1 month ago
corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life
Can’t, holding a grudge.

1 month ago
can’t, conflict, feelings, grudge, holding, humor, relationships
Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

1 month ago
back, behavior, communication, deleting, different, digital, digital behavior, etiquette, humor, interaction, ok, paragraph, self-control, social, social interaction, texting, texting etiquette, type
Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

1 month ago
advice, apps, directions, humor, just, map, mean, note, paved, road, self, travel

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Trending via YouTube:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Seen just now on X:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Freshly posted on X:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Trending via Slack:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

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Activity Log ✨

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

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I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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