Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Making waves on Twitch:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Live now on TikTok:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Just landed via Reddit:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Bring back the days of big hair and even bigger declarations of love! Less texting, more leaning over car hoods! 🚗💖🕺

big, big hair, car, cars, declaration, feeling, feelings, gesture, hair, i, louder, love, men, miss, nostalgia, over, romantic, romantic gesture

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

0

2 months ago

donate, fundraising, humor, joke, just, marathon, money, never, people, run, sarcasm, should, take
If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, environment, humor, i, irony, microplastic, mouth, ocean, self-awareness
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder
You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

0

2 months ago

atheist, belief, believe, conversation, humor, i, irony, joke, skepticism, well, wit
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

0

2 months ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey
Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

0

4 months ago

book, celebrity, ever, humor, kelce, longer, music, prenup, read, reading, relationship, sports, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, travis, Travis Kelce

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

80 shares on Discord this month:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

31 shares on Slack this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Shared recently on Slack:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Spotted on Messenger:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Just shared via Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Trending via Messenger:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Making waves on Twitch:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨