I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

15 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.