Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looking for new friends to keep things exciting and keep my secrets safe! 🤫🤣 Who else is on the hunt for fresh confidants? #OutWithTheOld #InWithTheNew"

friends, humor, i, know, much, need, new, old, relationships, social, too, too much, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

0

2 months ago

brain, chiropractor, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, relief, stress, stress relief
I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, head, health, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental health, mind, own, podcast, voices
I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

0

2 months ago

break, humor, i, irony, leisure, need, relaxation, time, time off, vacation, work, year
There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

0

2 months ago

dream, ever, funny observation, humor, observation, phone, reason, sleep, technology, used
Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, combatant, hell, humor, name, question, soldier, soldier ant, why, wordplay
If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

0

2 months ago

activity, bump, clumsiness, definitely, friendship, humor, i, just, know, line, straight, straight line, together, walk, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

87 shares on Discord this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Just shared via Slack:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Just shared via X:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨