Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Spotted on Twitch:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Spotted on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Making waves on Slack:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Just landed via TikTok:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

0
I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew that white noise isn't code for a country music concert? 😴🎸🚜

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

34 shares on X this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All the clouds have come out to play today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked by better.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just shared via Threads:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Spotted on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Making waves on X:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Just shared via Twitch:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Breaking via Instagram:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴