Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

All I think about is death and sex.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Live now on Instagram:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Live now on Slack:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Trending via Snapchat:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Seen just now on Slack:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wishing your lips a New Year full of smooch-tastic adventures! 😘💋🎉

hope, humor, i, kiss, kissing, lips, longing, miss, missing, next, relationship, romantic, wish, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

2 months ago

am, drinking, drinking habit, habit, humor, i, joke, just, kid, kids, me, okay, parenting, school, soon, start, teacher, terrible
Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

2 months ago

activity, bin, break, childhood, cigarette, equivalent, humor, nostalgia, pencil, school, sharpening, taking
It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

2 months ago

away, black, clothes, fashion, packing, seasonal, summer, time, unpacking, winter
Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

2 months ago

cost, expensive, give, going, humor, irony, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, transportation, travel
Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

2 months ago

always, beach, best, chance, clumsiness, flip, flip flop, flop, fun, funny moment, humor, laughter, moment, outdoor, outdoor fun, own, someone, summer, trip
Is this simulation from Temu?

3 months ago

humor, question, simulation, Temu

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Happy new fear!

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Going bananas on Reddit:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Going viral on Instagram:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Going bananas on Slack:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Is this simulation from Temu?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨