I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

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If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

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There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

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Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

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You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

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Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

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I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

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Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.