Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Going viral on Reddit:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Spotted on Instagram:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Going viral on Messenger:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Live now on Snapchat:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the ninja skill of sleep-standing! ☕️😴🧘‍♂️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

0

2 months ago

amusing, animals, bird, birds, communication, couple, fight, fighting, humor, i, nature, outside, playful, therapist, therapy, think, third, wait
“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, conversation, couple, excuse, fighting, food, fry, humor, interrupting, me, moment
We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

0

2 months ago

comedy, crime, downtown, Downtown Stabby, humor, need, satire, show, stabby, television, true, true crime
Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

0

2 months ago

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows
The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

0

1 month ago

being, best, celebration, family, food, friend, friends, gathering, holiday, pie, Thanksgiving
When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

0

5 months ago

bring, chess, chess clock, clock, clocks, dessert, dining, fork, humor, joke, know, let, person, should, smack, turn, waiter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

71 shares on Threads this month:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

31 shares on Discord this month:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Trending via WeChat:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Trending via Threads:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Trending via Threads:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just shared via Reddit:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨