Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Making waves on X:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Trending via Twitch:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Making waves on WeChat:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Making waves on X:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Smile? Yeah, working on that—just trying to convince my face that I'm not plotting world domination. 😐🔪😂"

anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

2 months ago

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish
I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

3 months ago

2, being, bigger, bigger person, diabetes, health, humor, i, irony, me, person, self-deprecation, type, type 2 diabetes
“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

9 hours ago

care, decline, done, excuse, fashion, hair, humor, outing, personal, personal care, reason, refusal, socializing
This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

2 months ago

celibacy, dating, easy, generation, humor, man, men, relationship, woman, women
Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

1 week ago

Christmas, elf, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, joke, listen, music, pun, Santa, wrap
My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

2 months ago

body, diarrhea, digestion, food, humor, machine, pizza

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

87 shares on Slack this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

88 shares on X this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Going bananas on Threads:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Just shared via Telegram:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Freshly posted on X:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Just landed via Twitch:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨