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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Spotted on Messenger:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spotted on WeChat:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Spotted on TikTok:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Going viral on Twitch:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Smile? Yeah, working on that—just trying to convince my face that I'm not plotting world domination. 😐🔪😂"

anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

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2 months ago

career, desire, focus, humor, job, motivation, not working, quitting, satire, work, working, workplace
Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

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2 months ago

confidence, humor, people, rejection, sarcasm, self-esteem, stop, worry, worrying
Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

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2 months ago

communication, email, humor, management, meeting, meetings, minutes, office, productivity, time, time management, workplace, wrapped, year
Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

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2 months ago

activity, call, creativity, graffeeti, humor, painting, toenails, wordplay
If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

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2 months ago

day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, leg, leg day, squatter, workout
You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

0

2 months ago

couples, date, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, know, mean, people, relationship, share, sharing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

43 shares on Slack this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

96 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

68 shares on X this month:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Live now on TikTok:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Going viral on Slack:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Making waves on Slack:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Live now on X:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨