Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Going viral on Discord:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Seen just now on X:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

Shared recently on Slack:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Going viral on Discord:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Going viral on Facebook:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
I thought it meant nine jobs to five cups of coffee per day! ☕️🤯 #MultitaskingMode

5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

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12 shares on Messenger this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

41 shares on Slack this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

82 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

63 shares on Discord this month:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Going bananas on Slack:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Making waves on WeChat:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Making waves on Twitch:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Going viral on Threads:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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