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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Making waves on Twitch:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Trending via Discord:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about misunderstanding work hours with a humorous twist.

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Commentary:
I thought it meant nine jobs to five cups of coffee per day! ☕️🤯 #MultitaskingMode

5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

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34 shares on Snapchat this month:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

99 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spotted on Slack:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Spotted on Twitch:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Just landed via Reddit:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Trending via WeChat:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

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Activity Log ✨

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

The peace of not knowing.

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

The peace of not knowing.

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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