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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Going viral on Messenger:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Going bananas on Instagram:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Breaking via Threads:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Just landed via Telegram:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Making waves on Facebook:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Going viral on Facebook:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I thought it meant nine jobs to five cups of coffee per day! ☕️🤯 #MultitaskingMode

5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

0

2 months ago

clean, domestic, house, humor, joke, missed, sarcasm, sorry, yesterday
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

0

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

0

4 months ago

bridge, burning, conflict, humor, i, last, last bridge, love, me, relationship, revenge, sarcasm, smell, someone
Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

0

3 weeks ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, confirmation, dream, dreams, just, real, reality, scientist, scientists
It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

expression, humor, humor expression, midweek, only, realization, realize, starting, sucks, Thursday, Wednesday, week, week starting, weekday, workweek
My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

0

5 months ago

add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

99 shares on Threads this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just shared via Reddit:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Trending via Slack:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Making waves on Facebook:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going viral on Threads:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Breaking via Threads:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨